Sixteen Qualities That Make One Hard to Admonish

Before posting or telling a good story about yourself, ask whether you're sharing or building an image.

Notice whether, when telling of someone else's mistake, you tend to add "if it had been me..."

If people have to "read your mood" before speaking, that is a clear sign of this one.

Count how many things from last year still make you heated whenever they come up.

When someone you've clashed with does something, notice whether you always interpret it the worst way first.

Listen to your tone of voice with family after a tiring day. It often reveals more than your words.

Practise answering the first criticism with "Thank you, let me think about it" — even if you think they're wrong.

Notice the thought "Who are they to criticise me?" Whether a criticism is right doesn't depend on who says it.

If you want to reply "What about you?", recognise that you're changing the subject. Their issue can be discussed later.

When you're called out on one thing and start explaining three others, stop and come back to the first.

The simple fact "Yes, I did that" lets the conversation move on far better than a long excuse.

When someone succeeds, notice whether you tend to add "they just got lucky".

Try sharing something you know or have with someone you secretly envy. These two are often cured together by giving.

Ask whether there is anything, however small, that you're trying to make people see differently from how it really is.

Recall the last time you apologised first. If you can't remember, this quality may be present.

Ask which of your views you changed this year because someone gave a better reason. If none, watch out for this one.