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The Discourse on Quarrels and Disputes: Tracing Conflict to Its Source
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The Discourse on Quarrels and Disputes: Tracing Conflict to Its Source

Kutopahūtā kalahā vivādā

A step-by-step question and answer on where quarrels come from: from what is dear; what is dear comes from desire; desire depends on the pleasant and unpleasant, which are caused by contact; and contact depends on name-and-form.

7 points

In the Kalahavivāda Sutta of the Aṭṭhakavagga, Sutta Nipāta, Khuddaka Nikāya, someone asks the Buddha where quarrels, disputes, lamentation, sorrow, stinginess, conceit, arrogance and slander come from. In this Thai translation the questioner is identified as a created image of the Buddha, following the commentary's explanation.

The Buddha answers step by step, and the questioner keeps asking where each thing comes from: from quarrels to what is dear, desire, the pleasant and unpleasant, contact, name-and-form, up to the question of how one practises so that form does not exist. At the end, the Buddha says the sage knows that the proponents of doctrines depend on views, and so disputes with no one.

The next discourses, the Cūḷaviyūha and Mahāviyūha Suttas, continue the theme of disputes over views. They say that truth is one, that those who truly know don't quarrel over it, and that the praise won by winning a dispute is small and not enough for peace.

  1. 1

    Quarrels come from what is dear Piyappahūtā kalahā vivādā

    Quarrels, disputes, lamentation, sorrow, stinginess, conceit, arrogance and slander come from what is dear. Quarrels and disputes are bound up with stinginess, and once disputes arise, slander follows.

    Applying it in daily life

    After an argument, write down what you were defending — pride, money, time or someone you love. The source becomes much clearer.

  2. 2

    What is dear comes from desire Chandānidānāni piyāni loke

    What is dear in the world has desire as its cause. The greed of those who roam the world, and people's hopes and aims for the next life, also have desire as their cause.

    Applying it in daily life

    Notice that what irritates you most is often tied to what you're most attached to, such as work you're proud of or an opinion you hold dear.

  3. 3

    Desire depends on the pleasant and unpleasant Sātaṃ asātanti yamāhu loke

    What people in the world call pleasant and unpleasant — desire arises in dependence on that. Seeing the arising and passing of forms, people form judgements. Anger, false speech and doubt also arise when the pleasant and unpleasant are present.

    Applying it in daily life

    When you start to get angry or want to exaggerate, recognise that some liking or disliking is leading you. Just seeing it helps you slow your words.

  4. 4

    The pleasant and unpleasant are caused by contact Phassanidānaṃ sātaṃ asātaṃ

    The pleasant and unpleasant have contact as their cause; when there is no contact, they don't exist. The Buddha says both the arising and the passing of the pleasant and unpleasant have contact as their cause.

    Applying it in daily life

    If certain kinds of news or certain group chats inflame you every time, reducing that contact at the source is a wise choice.

  5. 5

    Contact depends on name-and-form; possessiveness comes from longing Nāmañca rūpañca paṭicca phasso

    Contact arises dependent on name and form. Possessiveness has longing as its cause; when there is no longing, there is no taking things as "mine". When there is no form, contact does not touch.

    Applying it in daily life

    When you feel very possessive of something, ask what you want from it. Possessiveness often loosens once the wanting is seen.

  6. 6

    How form ceases to exist Saññānidānā hi papañcasaṅkhā

    Asked how one practises so that form does not exist, the Buddha says: one is not percipient with normal perception, not percipient with deranged perception, not without perception, and not perceiving non-existence. For one practising thus, form does not exist, because the elaborations of proliferation have perception as their source. The answer is very terse and is explained in detail in later texts. This point is for overall understanding.

    Applying it in daily life

    What you can apply is that tangled, proliferating thought starts from perception. Notice which image or word sets off a long chain of thinking in your head.

  7. 7

    The sage doesn't dispute, knowing what views depend on Ekañhi saccaṃ na dutiyamatthi

    At the end of the Kalahavivāda Sutta, the Buddha says some claim the highest purity is just this, while others argue against them; the sage knows they depend on views, is freed, and disputes with no one. The Cūḷaviyūha Sutta says truth is one, there is no second, but doctrine-holders make it diverse themselves. The Mahāviyūha Sutta says the praise gained from disputes is small and not enough for peace.

    Applying it in daily life

    Winning an argument in a meeting earns praise for a few minutes but may cost a relationship for a long time. Before arguing, weigh whether it's worth it.

Try it in daily life

This discourse is like asking "why?" several layers deep to find the root of a problem. A family or workplace quarrel often seems to come from a single remark, but digging deeper we always find something we love or cling to underneath.

The later details about perception and the ceasing of form concern advanced practice. Beginners don't need to grasp all of it at once; the early links of the chain can be used immediately.

When you feel a quarrel coming, ask inwardly, "What dear thing am I defending?" The answer often cools the anger and lets the conversation get to the point.

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