Dhamma Principles › The Six Principles of Cordiality
The Six Principles of Cordiality
Everyday life

The Six Principles of Cordiality

Cha sārāṇīyadhammā

Six things that keep a group affectionate and free of quarrels — kindness in act, speech and thought, sharing, shared standards, and a shared view.

6 points

The six principles of cordiality are the qualities by which people in a group remember one another warmly. The Buddha taught them to prevent division in the monastic community, but they apply directly to families, teams and any community.

The first three are kindness expressed through body, speech and mind. The fourth is sharing what comes in. The last two are a shared standard of conduct and a shared view — the roots of long-term trust.

  1. 1

    Acts of kindness Mettaṃ kāyakammaṃ

    Bodily actions imbued with loving-kindness, in the open and in private alike: helping with each other's work, caring for those who are ill, never bullying or taking advantage.

    Applying it in daily life

    Help with one thing that isn't your job when you see a colleague stuck. One act of help builds more goodwill than ten encouraging words.

  2. 2

    Words of kindness Mettaṃ vacīkammaṃ

    Speech imbued with loving-kindness, to their face and behind their back: advising with good will, no gossip, no sarcasm, nothing that sets people against each other.

    Applying it in daily life

    Make one rule with yourself: never say anything about someone that you wouldn't say in front of them. That single rule removes a surprising amount of trouble at work.

  3. 3

    Thoughts of kindness Mettaṃ manokammaṃ

    Thinking of one another with loving-kindness: assuming good faith first, not standing guard in suspicion, not storing up resentment until it hardens into permanent bias.

    Applying it in daily life

    When a curt message arrives, assume the kindest plausible intention first and then ask for clarity. Most of the time the person was simply in a hurry.

  4. 4

    Sharing what is received Sādhāraṇabhogī

    Whatever is rightfully obtained is shared within the group rather than consumed alone — including sharing information and opportunity, not only things.

    Applying it in daily life

    Share what you know with the team instead of hoarding expertise. People who share knowledge are trusted far more in the long run than those who keep it to stay indispensable.

  5. 5

    Shared standards of conduct Sīlasāmaññatā

    The same standard of behaviour for everyone in the group, with nobody exempted from what others must observe — because a double standard is where division begins.

    Applying it in daily life

    If you lead, keep the same rules as the team, especially the small ones such as meeting times. People accept rules a leader keeps far more readily than rules a leader is exempt from.

  6. 6

    A shared view Diṭṭhisāmaññatā

    Agreement on the essentials, above all on the goal and shared values. It does not mean thinking alike about everything, but looking in the same direction about what matters most.

    Applying it in daily life

    When starting work together, settle the goal and the non-negotiables at the outset. Debating at the start is far less tiring than quarrelling in the middle.

Try it in daily life

When a team starts to crack, run down the list and see which one is missing. The problem is rarely ability; it is usually the fourth (information or benefits not shared) and the fifth (different standards for different people).

The one you can act on today is the second: speak to your team in the tone you would want used about you — both to your face and behind your back.

Sign in to keep track of what you have read

Sources in the Tipiṭaka

Tap to read the actual passage on the page cited.

Other principles worth reading

Log in to earn 40 merit points for reading this page