Dhamma Principles › Puggalapaññatti: Whom to Associate With, and Whom to Regard with Equanimity
Puggalapaññatti: Whom to Associate With, and Whom to Regard with Equanimity
Everyday life

Puggalapaññatti: Whom to Associate With, and Whom to Regard with Equanimity

Sevitabbo bhajitabbo payirupāsitabbo

Two sets from the section on threes: someone inferior in virtue, concentration and wisdom is not to be associated with except out of sympathy, an equal is to be associated with, and a superior is to be associated with respectfully — and the person to be shunned, the angry person to be regarded with equanimity, and the virtuous person to be associated with.

6 points

In the Puggalapaññatti of the Abhidhamma Piṭaka, in the section on groups of three (Tika-niddesa), two sets answer the question of whom to associate with. The first measures others against yourself in virtue, concentration and wisdom — whether they are inferior, equal or superior. The second divides people into those to be shunned, those to be regarded with equanimity, and those to be associated with, giving a reason for each.

The Puggalapaññatti is the fourth book of the Abhidhamma Piṭaka. It sets out designations of types of persons, and many sets match discourses in the Aṅguttara Nikāya. These two sets also appear in the Sevī Sutta and the Jiguccha Sutta (Persons Chapter, Book of the Threes). There the discourse closes with a verse: one who associates with those lower declines, one who associates with equals does not decline, and one who attends on the best rises quickly, so associate with those above you.

An important detail: in the first case, the Pāli says not to associate with such a person "except out of sympathy, except out of compassion". You may still help them with kindness; you are not told to cut them off.

"To be shunned" here means not getting entangled in corrupt conduct, not hating the person. This teaching is for choosing your own path, not for publicly shaming anyone.

  1. 1

    Someone inferior: not to be associated with, except out of sympathy Aññatra anuddayā aññatra anukampā

    Some people are inferior in virtue, concentration and wisdom. Such a person is not to be associated with, kept company with or attended on, except out of sympathy and compassion.

    Applying it in daily life

    You can help a friend who has lost their way with kindness without living at their pace — help them find a way out rather than joining in.

  2. 2

    An equal: to be associated with Sadiso hoti sīlena samādhinā paññāya

    Some people are equal in virtue, concentration and wisdom. Such a person is to be associated with, because being equal in virtue there will be talk about virtue between you, that talk will be comfortable, and it will continue. The same goes for concentration and wisdom.

    Applying it in daily life

    Find friends with similar aims — for instance, friends who also want to quit drinking or practise meditation — and meet up regularly.

  3. 3

    A superior: to be associated with respectfully Sakkatvā garukatvā sevitabbo

    Some people are superior in virtue, concentration and wisdom. Such a person is to be associated with after honouring and respecting them, because you will complete the aggregates of virtue, concentration and wisdom that are not yet complete, and support with wisdom here and there those that are already complete.

    Applying it in daily life

    Find a teacher or mentor whose conduct you genuinely respect, approach them as a learner, and ask questions that help you grow.

  4. 4

    The one to be shunned: their reputation rubs off Ahi gūthagato

    Some people are immoral and of bad character, of impure and suspect conduct, secretive in their actions, not ascetics though claiming to be. Such a person is to be shunned and not associated with, because even if you don't follow their example, a bad reputation spreads that you have bad friends — like a snake smeared with dung, which soils you even if it doesn't bite.

    Applying it in daily life

    Before taking on a job or partnership with someone who has a clear record of cheating, ask yourself: even if I stay honest, am I ready for my name to be tied to theirs?

  5. 5

    The angry person: to be regarded with equanimity Ajjhupekkhitabbo

    Some people are easily angered; even when criticised a little they become upset and irritable and display their anger — like a festering sore that oozes blood and pus when struck, or a cesspit that stinks when stirred with a stick. Such a person is to be regarded with equanimity and not associated with closely, because they might abuse you, revile you or do you harm.

    Applying it in daily life

    With someone who explodes easily, don't try to win or change them. Answer briefly and politely, avoid their sore spots, and keep a suitable distance.

  6. 6

    The virtuous person: their good name reaches you Kalyāṇamitto purisapuggalo

    Some people are virtuous and of good character. Such a person is to be associated with, because even if you don't yet follow their example, a good reputation spreads that you have good friends and good companions.

    Applying it in daily life

    When choosing a team or community to join, give weight to the integrity of its people, not just the fun or the business opportunities.

Try it in daily life

This teaching doesn't advise befriending only more capable people for personal advantage. The measure is virtue, concentration and wisdom, not status or fame. Someone superior here is someone who helps your conduct, your focus and your understanding become more complete.

The reasoning about reputation fits our time too. Even if you don't imitate someone dishonest, standing beside them often can make others see you the same way — like a snake smeared with dung, which soils you even if it doesn't bite.

As for the easily angered person, the text doesn't say to fight or hate them, but to look on with equanimity and not get closer than needed. If such a person is family or a colleague you can't avoid, the same principle applies: don't provoke them, and set clear boundaries.

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