Dhamma Principles › Saṅghādisesa 2–5: Monks, Women and the Trust That Must Be Kept
Saṅghādisesa 2–5: Monks, Women and the Trust That Must Be Kept
Everyday life

Saṅghādisesa 2–5: Monks, Women and the Trust That Must Be Kept

Mātugāmena saddhiṃ kāyasaṃsaggaṃ samāpajjeyya

Four rules that arose from Venerable Udāyī's behaviour towards women: touching with lust, lewd speech, urging a woman to serve him sexually, and acting as a go-between. Each began with the voices of those affected, and each exists so that women can visit a monastery safely.

8 points

In the Saṅghādisesa section of the Mahāvibhaṅga, Vinaya Piṭaka volume 1, rules 2 to 5 all arose from the conduct of Venerable Udāyī. A saṅghādisesa is the heaviest class of offence after pārājika: a monk who commits one remains a monk but must undergo a period of probation set by the Saṅgha.

Rule 2 forbids a monk with a lustful mind from physical contact with a woman. Rule 3 forbids lewd speech with sexual reference to a woman. Rule 4 forbids praising, in a woman's presence, the service of a monk through sensual pleasure. Rule 5 forbids acting as a go-between for a man and a woman, whether for marriage or for a brief liaison.

Every origin story has someone harmed, or people nearby, who spoke out: a brahmin whose wife was molested, women offended by what was said, a widow who was humiliated, and a mother and daughter who suffered from a match he arranged. This page gives only the substance of events, without describing the conduct.

These are rules for monks, not for lay people. But the principle behind them, not using others' trust for one's own desires, applies to everyone.

  1. 1

    When women no longer dare to visit Ārāmaṃ vā vihāraṃ vā gantuṃ

    A brahmin took his wife to see Udāyī's dwelling, and Udāyī molested her. When he learned of it, the brahmin protested that women of good families would no longer dare to go to a monastery or dwelling, for fear of being molested.

    Applying it in daily life

    When judging how serious an act is, don't look only at the first person harmed. Look at how many others it makes feel unsafe coming here again.

  2. 2

    No touching with a lustful mind Kāyasaṃsaggaṃ samāpajjeyya

    Rule 2 forbids a monk with a lustful mind from physical contact with a woman, such as taking her hand or her hair. The non-offence clause says a monk who did not intend it, was unmindful, did not know, or did not consent commits no offence. What decides the matter is the intention of the one who touches.

    Applying it in daily life

    Before touching someone you are not close to, ask yourself why, and how they will feel. If unsure, don't.

  3. 3

    Words the listener does not want Duṭṭhullāhi vācāhi obhāseyya

    A group of women came to see his dwelling, and Udāyī spoke to them with sexual references. Some walked out and told other monks that even from their husbands they would not want to hear such things. Rule 3 forbids a monk with a lustful mind from addressing a woman with lewd words.

    Applying it in daily life

    A joke or message with sexual undertones may seem harmless to us but leave the other person uncomfortable and unable to say so. If you're not sure they want to hear it, don't say it.

  4. 4

    Intention makes the difference Atthapurekkhārassa dhammapurekkhārassa anusāsanīpurekkhārassa

    The non-offence clause of rule 3 says a monk who speaks with a view to benefit, to the Dhamma or to instruction commits no offence. Words about the body are not always wrong; what is wrong is speaking from lust in order to proposition a woman.

    Applying it in daily life

    Bodies and health can be discussed respectfully, in a classroom, a hospital or a family. The difference is whether you speak to help them understand or to gratify yourself.

  5. 5

    Using merit to ask for what should not be asked Attakāmapāricariyāya vaṇṇaṃ bhāseyya

    A widow heard him teach and offered to provide requisites. Udāyī instead asked her for sexual favours, then insulted her before leaving. She protested, asking what was vile about her and in what way she was worse than any other woman. Rule 4 forbids a monk from saying that serving a virtuous monk sexually is the highest service.

    Applying it in daily life

    Be wary of anyone who wraps an exploitative request in the language of religion, goodness or "merit". Someone's faith is not a licence to ask for anything.

  6. 6

    An irresponsible go-between Sañcarittaṃ samāpajjeyya

    Udāyī went about arranging matches between families. One widow refused to give her daughter to strangers from another village, but agreed because Udāyī assured her he knew them. Rule 5 forbids a monk from acting as a go-between; it was later extended to include arranging a brief liaison.

    Applying it in daily life

    When introducing someone to someone else, whether for work, money or a relationship, your word carries weight. Vouch only for what you truly know.

  7. 7

    From daughter-in-law to servant Dāsībhogena bhuñjanti

    The husband's family treated the young woman as a daughter-in-law for only a month, then as a slave. She sent word asking her mother to fetch her. When the mother appealed to Udāyī, he spoke to them once, was sent away, and refused to go again. Both mother and daughter denounced him.

    Applying it in daily life

    If you had a part in leading someone into a situation and they are now suffering, don't simply step back. Help as far as you can, or take them to someone who can.

  8. 8

    Each rule began with those affected Ujjhāyanti khīyanti vipācenti

    In all four stories, the complaints of lay people and of the women who suffered were not ignored. Monks keen on the training brought the matter to the Buddha, who questioned Udāyī until he admitted it, and then laid down the rule.

    Applying it in daily life

    In your organisation or community, when someone reports being mistreated, listen and investigate seriously. Don't rush to protect the reputation of the person accused.

Try it in daily life

What these rules protect is trust. People come to a monastery because they believe it is safe. The brahmin in the first story says it clearly: if monks behave like this, women from good families will no longer dare to go to monasteries. The damage does not fall on one person only; the whole community loses a safe place.

Today, anyone in a position of trust, such as a teacher, doctor, manager, coach or religious leader, should take special care about touching, about words with sexual undertones, and about using their position to ask for what they should not.

If someone in such a position has ever violated your boundaries, your discomfort is justified, and telling others, as the people in these stories did, is the right thing to do.

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